Earlier this year on an intuitive walk, with no one elses permission but my own, I went to a book store I’d walked past easily over 300 times yet had never been in. Something that day called me to the dinky building, rows and rows of paper worlds invited me in. A Tension in my heart by the fiction section led nowhere so I putz’d around until I found a book titled, “Shame and Pride” which satified an inquiry that I had simmer in my brain.
Why is it when I express pride over my own personal competence, others try to shame me, specifically?
This is a very common social interaction I’ve noted especially in attempts to meet other people ‘like me.’ other ‘neurodivergents’ or ‘lesbians’ or other words that would imply a shared origin and struggle only to find out that to them the struggle seems to be the point whereas for me, I would prefer to thrive.
Sound douchey to you?
Good, fuck off then. Asshole. I’m so sick of these oppression olympics participants. I didn’t sign up for that system, I don’t look at myself the way other do and I don’t prefer to vent and complain without action the way most prefer.
The book answered my question and gave me 100 more and 100 more answers. I am still re-reading it, understanding the material more, pursuing the topic more. It has helped me derive a new perspective and theory about this underlying social dynamic.
The healthy development of shame is pride.
Healthy, being the keyword there.
No wonder why our entire society shames people for displaying pride, god forbid anyone be healthy in this sick ass society.
Most people alive today are here to be bred to be mindless consumers for those pulling the financial strings around the world, robbing the earth of her resources in order to transmute them into landfill for the citizens burying themselves in cheap knock off products designed to decay.
This is intentional, of course. Was it at first? Doesn’t matter, it is now. We have enough knowledge now to know how we rear our population is toxic to our species. Our society is what is harming our speices, not the planet, not another tribe, us, all of us collectively all the time performing these shame scripts instead of acting from our own personal competence scripts.
In the book, the author reframed shame as a “compass of scripts” with four poles; attack self, attack other, withdrawl, avoidance.
Well THAT certainly sounds disordered sir.
Are you sure this is a homo sapiens thing or a….modern day human suffering under the normalization of disordered emotional processing forced onto us via centuries of intentional design by literally psychopathic and malignant actors. We let cancer rewire the body and are paying it to exist instead of making products for the very thhing keeping us alive.
The thing is, he isn’t wrong per say, but like his critique of Freud, who over emphasized sex due to his cultural era’s perspectives, Nathanson was fully immersed in traditional psychology and frameworks of his era. The idea that shame could be something different appealed to him, his work on Pocaterra I appreciated a lot yet I found myself stunned at his inability to see what Pocaterra laid out so clearly; the genderification of our species using shame, artificially diving us into prototypical roles and conditioning the female form into woman, the she who bears the burden of shame for the species while the man galavants around doing anything he wants because he is logical and rational by nature of simply being a man.
Fucked up right?
Yeah and we’ve been doing that as a species for centuries and centuries, dozens of centuries!
No wonder he could translate it but didn’t see it, didn’t comment on it, didn’t allude to the inherenet shame all homo sapiens females, regardless of their gender, have been forced into accepting. This force is buried in the architecture of what we consider normal. Sex separate bathrooms that are artificially equal; men get the same space despite being able to urinate much more quickly and have larger bladders, thus increasing the times women must wait at all public facilities.
Except for one time when I was in South Dakota and it was an entire huge room of gender neutral bathroom stalls, doors fully down to the ground and then sinks for everyone. Literal perfect design that could be replicated but that would be acknowledging the implicit social conditioning around the architecture of these structures.
Rooms, doors, handles, floors, lights, and more are all designed with disregard to the female body. Seatbelts were infamously only tested on male crash dummies for a long time, and there are millions of examples of sex based discrimination in order to socially enforce the role of women (& men but like, i just don’t care about males, not sorry to report) that have been going on for so long and have been normalized for so long that to reconsider it is offensive to literally everyone.
Hi, it’s me, the offensive one it’s me, here to remind everyone that gender IS a tool of discrimination. There is no such natural thing as a man or woman. These are artifical archtypal patriarchal roles that are enforced by the environment so if you feel like a man or a woman, you feel like a psycholocial delusion that has been violently forced onto our species.
That’s weird of you.
I’m not like that.
I am proud of that.
&
I want to be around more people like me, who don’t mind their sex, but do not like this gender thing on top of it. Please remove your gender before getting into my bed, thanks.
I don’t need your permission to be proud about not falling into the binary understanding of thinking anymore.
This isolates me from most people.
I was already isolated and wanted to understand why.
Now I understand that my neurology has no ability to detect the collective delusions others seem to pick up on.
Think money is real?
Idiot.
Think America is legitimate?
You DO remember that we made hundreds of treaties with the tribes on this land because white people kept losing and then after those treaties were made the white people went back on all of them, lied, cheated, and genocided them all right? Like the USA was founded on genociding the population here prior, that’s why we call it “Land of the Free” because we took the freedom away from the people previously living here…this is WELL documented, much of America does not actually belong to the USA yet the collective delusion within the brains of the colonizers have allowed this untruth to persist and become a physical fact despite being legally unauthorized.
I could go on, but I won’t waste my time, you get the idea.
I’m proud to not be able to be programmed. I don’t think I am alone in this but trying to connect to others has still been difficult. Everyone is still simmering in the victimhood culture sweeping the USA right now. It’s like everyone forgot they could assert themselves as a confident, competent person. I’m not sure who decided this but it’s pathetically common and I literally do not have the ability to perform that social script; because it is a social script and not authentic present moment communication.
If you know what I’m talking about, feel free to reach out. I’ll be here rambling, working on my JOYSTICK.
