I read this book earlier this year called “Shame & Pride” by donald nathanson and it really energized my spirit, but when trying to discuss the material with fellow homos (humans) they nodded politely, eyes opened in scripted surprise and shock but ultimately they showed no desire for further engagement with the material.
So I continued alone.
I found a counterpart, “Joy’s Way” by W. Brugh Joy and read through that earlier this month. I had very early on formed a reaction complex called a “JOYSTICK” in response to Nathanson’s work but was desperate for an easier solution than writing my own book on this subject. Upon reading Joy’s work, I am sad to report it is not the complete answer, but it is very close to my theory just without the raw biology that I feel is required to fully connect the pathway of Joy to the maturation of Shame into your own personal pride of living your inner truth, opting out of societal expectations, and following your inner JOYSTICK to guide you through life.
It is 2025 as of writing this, in my cultures timezone at least. Not sure what that translates to in a different world but as of 2025 we have overwhelmingly more evidence about the body and the fascia especially and the link to not speaking your truth (emotional repression) and disorder in the body.
We cannot discount the role of shame in how the body’s emotional response functions…because it is a meta-affect regulator, not just an emotion on its own. Shame is a trigger to control yourself, it doesn’t do it directly, it pulls up you and controls your other emotions through it. Your internal script of what you put in there and it follows it in accordance with the rules and logic that you form from our reactionary complexes and script formation. Shame takes over your entire body using your own emotions when it is triggered.
If nothing else I speak in this lifetime lands, let my reconsideration of shame stick to the ribs of those drowning in social obligations while their soul withers away.
Shame is innate. This is a biological reality that no human can escape from. You either mature your shame properly or you reject it (as is the current male social script in the western world-See Pocaterra) and become very sick, controllable, easy to manipulate, & dependent on external systems.
Shame is neutral. The raw affect, the biology of this affect, is neutral. The idea that it is painful is in my perpective, culturally assigned. I do feel the sensation of shame when it is externally applied, but internal shame is painless as long as you don’t fight it. Following your ‘shame’ and maturing it into personal competence and pride (which is what it is supposed to be used for) will never harm you. Your shame will never purposefully harm you, you harm yourself by not allowing it to guide you out of those situations, patterns, and loops of behavior that you continue to glue yourself into because they feel safer than trusting your inner guidance.
That’s a skill issue, one that is intentionally cultivated in this current culture of homo sapiens. One that turns them into homo hostilis. The “enemy making” human as titled by Sam Keen. This culture of humans NEEDS ENEMIES, because we cannot process our “shadow” or the unconscious, and this impacts our collective unconscious.
I call it intergenerational shame. Once we can look at the shadow and collective unconscious as shame, over generations, the picture of our species unfolds a bit more and perhaps we can begin to understand how we automatically defend terrible people because of how we see our own terrible behavior within them and instantly feel comforted by the idea of collectively projecting their terribleness onto others. (see well, any group or culture, every single one of them forms this victimhood complex and then creates an enemy THEN creates tools of destruction.)
Do you want to be homo hostilis? Probably not, but you are. That’s what the patriarchs created-generations of enemy making humans who look outward to place their blame instead of within. Tale as old as time, that’s why it keeps happening, we keep telling their tales and the message is implicit, meaning it isn’t directly spoken, so when you try to talk to people about it, their homo hostilis brain automatically shuts off due to the shame conditioning of this culture of humans and so on and so forth yaddda yadda you get it right?
Internal shame is different than external shame. The idea of two shames is not new, but it is not common or ‘popular’ yet. This differentiation helped me personally understand why when I “felt shame” I received internal guidance, messages from myself, miraculous situations or synchronicities and other things. My internal shame never felt bad, but if I didn’t listen it would repeat itself louder and louder until I had no choice but to listen to it. It’s why I now call it ‘soulware’ because this ‘inner shame’ I do believe is a touchpoint of our soul to our physical body. When you give it more control over your body/fascia you will feel like someone else is inside of you, moving you around in ways that make no social sense yet fulfill your heart in sutble ways.
THIS society is external shame manifested into the physical relm. We call shame a “social emotion” because we fail to realize how we use it to control everyone. Mostly all of current human society is shame conditioned. If not shame then guilt or another negative emotion. We do not rear children out of love because we are still being oppressed by patriarchal logic baked into even the grammar of the language I am using to write this. The implicit binding of words, sounds, syllables into certain ideas is intentionally designed to keep you locked out of your own soul or too traumatized by society to ever try to free yourself from it.
Gender is a massive shame driven conditioning script-not a biological or even cultural reality but one forced upon us to introduce the concept of separation. The way we raise children so fundamentally differently based off of their genitals that we examine pre-birth is dystopic. It’s insane. It’s an idea that belongs in a sci-fi horror movie. It’s a massive tool of social scripting and conditioning, the concept of gender. Gender is a social role, not your body, not your sex, not your looks. SOCIAL ROLE. If you think man/woman are social roles, you are a patriarchally scripted homo hostilis. They make no sense as gender roles, they are white people breeding categories but they make no sense in terms of an actual society and its functions. Real gender is more like a job, your career, not your beard hair and facial structure.
The NEED to separate bodies into male/female to then apply the concept of gender onto it is a form of psychological abuse that one day our species will look back on the same way my current time looks at people who never washed their hands after going to the bathroom or didn’t believe in vaccines. In disgust. We will be looked back at with disgust for this behavior.
Thankfully many more parents are waking up in my time and addressing, correcting, or elimiating this over genderification, sharing stories of how gender seeps up in small every day interactions, and how that impacts their children.
Our species does not need the concept of man or woman to survive. But we do need social roles to have a society. We need nurturers, and providers, teachers protectors, healers, builders, visionaries, catalysts, leaders, & so on.
We need people, but we don’t need these systems that separate us. So the biggest thing to unpack in this lifetime for most people will be these concepts that define our “identities” and sort us into consumer categories to be mass marketed to.
We aren’t free people, in 2025. The entire world is infected with a parasite called patriarchy, creating the infectious socialware that forces you to choose; your inner guidance and messages from your soul, or a social performance that will sustain your social currency for another day, maybe a few hours, maybe less.
You already know what most people choose. They choose this, they opt in every day to this system…in their head. Then perform the actions in reality. Take every ICE employee on those payrolls that we will eventually one day see to arrest all those idiots for laws against humanity-they are perfectly okay in this patriarchal system to recieve currency, money, cash, their paycheck for the slaughter of innocent lives. They are state paid for terrorists against humanity using any homo hostilis justification they can to justify why they must get paid to harasss and arrest other humans. This isn’t a national thing, this is a species thing. Human-2-human. ICE are homo hostilis institutionalized, you know, like the nazis. Like the zionists invading palestine and making the palestinians the enemy of the Israelis. It’s classic homo hostilis behavior and it is disgusting.
The thing is, our species is very weak and vulnerable to this behavior. Clearly. This isn’t the first time nor will it be the last time until as a species we can mature our shame properly and act out of our own inner guidance. Not the “compass of scripts” with negativity in each direction as Nathanson described but as a true JOYSTICK leading us to our most fulfilling paths. Because why not? Why are we actively creating a society where people are forced to suffer to participate in it. Like that’s actively intentionally the design. That’s called cancer and we have it at the socialware level.
My solution is your own joy, your own path, using your soulware fully in tact. By using the shame affect to trigger your inner “shame” to reveal your inner shaman to yourself to help you. True Pride comes from a JOYSTICK of competence, not the compass of shamefully acquired social scripts.
I have more to say but no audience and frankly I am not sure if I want to write anything formal on this seeing as humans give me no feedback. I tell them about my ideas but they are all still homo hostilis so they don’t want to change. I get that, but I have no choice.
“I have to change to stay the same.”
Why is my solution to this massive species level issue so “small” in comparison. Follow your own joy, really? Come on what’s next, a love & light seminar?
No.
What’s next is you must condition yourself to be submissive only to your inner guidance. It’ll take the REST of your life to do so, this isn’t a one time fix, this is an every day choice to choose the healthier option when faced with overwhelmingly worse options that have been marketed to taste and feel better than the proper choice.
We didn’t do this to ourselves, we are inheriting a really shitty social system that forces you to opt out of your own soul to survive in it. We get to deconstruct and dismantle this garbage now. You in? Email me at my name at this website dot com.
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