neuroDEFIANCE: Understanding the NPC Mentality
Here’s a hard truth: many people are just NPCs—neuropatriarchal characters—playing out the roles assigned to them by the matrix of societal conditioning. They aren’t players in the game of life; they are the game. They follow the script, enforce the rules, and expect you to do the same. For them, breaking out of the matrix isn’t just impossible—it’s unthinkable.
Players vs. NPCs
Autistic people, and many neurodivergent folks, are naturally players. We question, challenge, and refuse to conform to the rigid structures that NPCs uphold. We see the matrix for what it is and can’t just be it. This fundamental difference makes communication between players and NPCs fraught with frustration.
But let’s be clear: not all neurotypical (NT) people are NPCs, and not all neurodivergent people are players. This isn’t about neurotype—it’s about how ready someone is to challenge the social norms. Some NT people are fully aware of the matrix and actively work to challenge it. They’re players, too. Conversely, some neurodivergent people are perfectly content to fit in with the matrix. They’ve embraced the conditioning and chosen the NPC role, and that’s their prerogative.
The Roots of NPC Behavior
This demand for conformity? It’s a vestigial emotional corruption, a relic from systems of oppression like white supremacy. Just as biases around race, gender, and other identities are baked into our culture, many allistic (non-autistic) brains flag autistic people as “other.” This implicit bias isn’t your fault, but it’s crucial to recognize it for what it is.
Many NPCs are willfully ignorant of how authentic communication works. They cling to their conditioning because it feels safe, even if it’s harmful. Trying to communicate authentically with someone who demands your conformity is like trying to reason with a wall. It’s not going to work, and it’s not your responsibility to fix them.
Stop Wasting Your Time
Here’s where neuroDEFIANCE comes in: stop wasting your time trying to break through to NPCs who don’t want to break free. Your energy is better spent on those who are ready to engage, learn, and grow. Recognize the NPCs for what they are, and move on. Their inability to engage authentically isn’t a reflection of your worth or effort—it’s their limitation.
Embrace the Players
Focus on building connections with other players. People who question, who seek authenticity, who want to co-create a better world. These are your people. These are the ones worth your time and energy. By aligning with players, you reinforce your neuroDEFIANCE, rejecting a world built on conformity and choosing one grounded in authenticity and growth.
How to Start Playing the Game
The first step to becoming a player in the game of life is to reclaim your power and authority from every external source that’s held it. Stop seeking approval or validation for what you’re seeing or feeling. Instead, trust yourself.
Use your pattern recognition skills—those sharp instincts and observations—to make decisions. Trust your inner voice. Inner trust is key. The world teaches you to doubt yourself, to seek external validation, to conform. But as a player, your strength comes from within. By reclaiming your power and trusting in your ability to navigate life, you break free from the matrix’s grip and start playing the game on your terms.
The Process: From Senses to Thoughts
Here’s the secret cheat code: work backwards. Most people are stuck with automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) that are hard to remove. But the process actually flows from your senses to your body, then to emotions, which your brain turns into feelings, and finally into thoughts.
Senses: Your body receives information from the world.
Emotions: Your body processes this sensory input into emotions.
Feelings: Your brain translates these emotions into feelings.
Thoughts: Finally, those feelings inform your thoughts. Sooooo many thoughts.
Autistic individuals often experience more novelty in their sensory processing. Their heightened sensitivity means they perceive more details and nuances in their environment, which can make everyday experiences feel fresh and new—but can also lead to sensory overload when not managed.
Here’s how to flip the script:
Notice your thoughts and accept them as part of you and let them go.
Notice your feelings and accept them as part of you and let them go.
Follow the emotions in your body and accept them as a part of you and allow the patterns to release.
Then, turn to your senses and say, “I trust you.” and invite them to guide you along your most joyous path.
When you trust your senses, you reduce the overwhelm and align with your natural processing power. It’s like unlocking a superpower—suddenly, you’re in control, not your environment. When your body feels safe enough to inform you of the world around you, it will. Don’t forget to thank yourself when you get information instead of overload.
This is neuroDEFIANCE: owning your sensory input, trusting your inner experience, and using it to navigate the world authentically and powerfully.
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