Spring has spoken
& it has said
someting good in da neighbor ghood
hehehe
Anywhoo,
It’s April, Already, alright, it’s april already….alright? APRIL….ALREADY?
Yup….are we….UP yet? Cause it’s been mighty quiet these days, nay a stone slides underneath the social embrace of our apathy….in april…already…..alright.
Dear friends,
I am still settling into my new place, but the transition was more smooth this time. I had planned ahead this assignment, investing in new products designed to hold and store stuff with greater personal ease. Hooks, and pockets and zippers &and& WaterProof. yup. thanks capitalism right? So I’m spending all this shmoney on shmit that I probably don’t need but what do I NOT wanna do let’s be honest?
GO SHOPPING FOR ANYTHING. uhg.
I’ve had to do a lot of shopping, but less than other times. I seemed to have landed on a particularly nice balance of my more curated items and the basic swag we all are accustomed too. still my refinement would use more work, and audacious endeavour in this atmosphere.
I’ve other work to do, yet still require the resources scattered all other the planet, place to place, shore to snow to sand. Why my species gotta do that? &, take resources, and use them in the most wasteful way possible. I’ve more things to acquire for my refinement stage, what more can I say, these days, one mans waste is anothers Golden treasure.
Anywhoo, I am on a timeline these days with Werkin’ for dat Money Montage but in Real Life tm time of my life. (When I actually have to work-i do contracts only so i get me downtimies and yeah i am being intentionally cringe rn, &?) my people will know how to read this to envoke a sense of Sunny D-elight!
My priorities may alter through the year, given the historical context of the era i am living in, nazis have taken over america somehow and even more amusing, it was the people who claimed to admire americas pride in moral justice against the historical nazis that are breeding their own version of nationalism; corrupted pride designed to shame anyone different than the self-a deep collective shame wound MAGAuerading around their ancestral bleaching of the ground they claim so valuable you musta been born on it with the right skin tone, social disposition, and state of mind to even think about steppin’ foot on it. So Valuable the Land, & the Leader of their flock. A certified human mortification enhancement project. There’s no way humanity survives if it does not adjust it’s tolerance to reduce the inflammatory nature of failed men who like to squeal their sequence of incompetence around shamelessly, projecting their inner turmoil onto others. How this is so contagious is a worthy goal of intense focus by anyone inclined to want to reduce the amount of shame in the human profile- for personal or profit.
(authors note: I’ve been reading this book, “Shame & Pride” by donald nathanson and his writing style and content is rubbing off on me. I recommend it but it is not casual but it is funny as hell and maybe in another post, I will share some lines.)
Anyway, my own origin with shame was different but the emotion still impacted me. it feels depressive, i know how, and i havent felt it.in.a.long.time.hehehehehe.
😉
I’d rather be considered ‘shame-free’ than just another queer identity. I’d like to do more work on the exploration of my expression outside of these tedious and percariously stacked gender roles the patriarchy keeps providing the ingredients for and thus those reared in such environment have no choice but to adopt some measure of their conditioning in order to establish a normal, healthy independent being. This has been a problem I’ve been facing for a long time but more recently now that I’ve attempted to try to date again, after my inner upheavel last year. The norms are norming and they aren’t mine and now I know that more than ever.
There’s a deep illusion of conformity in non-conformist spaces, is all I gotta say right now. I’ve got a lot more nuance but with so many brances and so little time, it’s already 11:18 & I’ve got to sleep, what I focus on must be beneficial to me, and so currently, writing this felt the most intuitive. it’s just a free write, so if it bothers you, do your own and post it publically and let me read it, id be curious what random writing looks like from others and what its goal and purpose is. okay shut up scientist andy and goodnight
*This is for Enter & Tpain-MGMT purposes only
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