Introduction about the author
Howdy, my name is Ampersand, I am a board certified scientist who works in healthcare. I have self identified as autistic since 18, I am 36 now. I have struggled mostly with interpersonal issues, miscommunications, and the loneliness that happens to those who can’t perfect the patriarchal performances. I attempted a formal diagnosis but after going through some of the work I realized that chasing a piece of paper wouldn’t actually improve my life. It wouldn’t make my boss become emotionally mature and actually listen to me. It wouldn’t make my friend respond in full sentences instead of growls, and it wouldn’t help me become a better person. That’s just how I felt about it and after choosing myself the past two years and moving intentionally towards internal alignment, I’ve come up with a new approach. I used to think I was autistic, but now I know I am neuroDEFIANT.
I used to smother my senses thinking I was overstimulated. I reframed the concept of “sensory overload” into “sensory hyper information” Now I integrate those senses and work on upgrading my skills. YMMV on this but I genuinely want to develop this because it’s been amazing so far & if you do too, please contact me.
I used to practice how I’d speak to people and genuinely try to be sensitive to them knowing my suspected autisim was a turn off. I reframed their behavior for what it was, immature & demanding; Expecting a patriarchal performance out of me instead of meeting me in the present moment authentically. Now I refuse to waste my energy engaging with those behaviors. I expect a mature interaction and if someone is not acting mature, that will be addressed before moving forward.
I used to push myself into burnout, frying my own neurons trying to stay in line with others who cinged those synapses long ago. Now I have a body that will not be disrespected and I have no choice but to honor my needs including building an ‘autistic rage room’ in my living room. More FUN for me, thank you.
Finally, I used to think there was something wrong with me for not being able to reduce myself to a patriarchal puppet. Now I see the world for what it is. A matrix full of people who think they’re the player when they are actually the game, and boy do they get mad at YOU for playing. ^_^ So let’s play.
The Primer on neuroDEFIANCE
- DEFIANCE is in all caps for a reason.
Why? Because it annoys people. And let’s be honest, annoying the right people is fun.
- neuroDEFIANCE is for everyone.
No matter what other labels or identity, this framework is for anyone who’s ready to ditch Patriarchal Conditioning (PC) and reclaim their maturity, authenticity, and self-respect. It is an intentional stance towards self-accountability and maturity; to remove the corrupt conditioning and replace it with your own.
- It’s not that serious.
Look, I’m just a random person in society trying to reframe my brain out of the PC and into my own mainframe. Am I here to burn it all down? Well…let’s just say the government and capital elites are doing that job perfectly fine without my help.
Definitions
neuroDEFIANT: A person who focuses on developing, maturing, and using their authenticity to navigate a society designed to suppress it. It’s not tied to neurodivergence or neurotypicality—it’s about making an intentional, conscious choice to reject patriarchal conditioning.
neuroDEFIANCE: A neurotype for people willing to take responsibility for their sovereignty in a world actively working to prevent human maturation. It’s for anyone ready to defy the system, regardless of their starting point.
NPC (neuropatriarchal character): A person who has accepted and enjoys patriarchal conditioning. NPCs uphold the status quo, often without questioning it, and are content to live within the system’s limitations. This isn’t tied to neurodivergence either—anyone can be an NPC if they’ve chosen to conform to what is now clearly a harmful social framework for our species.
Introduction
You may be thinking: Girl, what the hell?
& I get it.
It’s hard to get to the point sometimes. But here’s the thing: I’m enJOYing myself. This is my path, my way. A core part of neuroDEFIANCE is doing things your way, in the moment, as it feels right. Will you cringe at yourself later? Probably. It happens. But as we say in &yland:
“Better out than in.”
Here are a few more quotes I live by:
“Do not blame in others what you can blame in yourself.”
“I have to change to stay the same.”
“You are on par with the creator of the universe.”
Feeling inspired yet?
Defiant yet?
No? Let me put it this way:
We live in a world designed to make you believe you were born to suffer for your entire life, give all of your labor and time away until old age where if you survive you could get a government stipend that the GOP is still doing the most to take away. Some guy said so a long time ago, and it’s written down in some book that people keep misinterpreting and killing each other for, so of course, it must be true, right?
Wrong.
I choose joy.
Defiantly.
& life is a lot more fun that way.
To choose yourself, to choose your own happiness, is an act of defiance in this society. That’s why I am encouraging it at the ‘neurological’ level; to intentionally condition your being to be the vessel for your most pleasurable existence. Why not? No matter where you came from or what you do, there’s a little authentic side of you begging to just express itself onto the world, no matter how big or small. That’s all I want from you, to be the best version of you, but you have to choose that, I cannot do it for you.
I have chosen my joy by continuing to write, photograph, and document my life. It’s a small act of defiance in a world that would really I rather sit in traffic, stand in line at the grocery store all while congress call me a “worker bee” who needs to make more bees for them so their bank accounts can grow larger with a currency backed by…reads smudged hand Bitch & Crypto? no sorry, faith & credit, my bad, super big difference I know…still wondering whose faith & credit though…
Here is a story about one of my first acts of neuroDEFIANCE.
When I was six, I was being raised as a generic Christian in the American empire. I loved stories, and religion gave me plenty of them. But one day, while watching the 700 Club, something shattered. They showed a gay man—crying, vulnerable—and I saw through their righteous condemnation straight to the glee they felt in his suffering.
It enRAGED me.
I marched out of my room, over to the VHS cabinet, and dramatically glared at our collection of religious tapes. I questioned everything. Did I want this influence in my life? No. I declared myself gay out of pure defiance—not because I understood the word fully at the time, but because it felt like the right response. I wanted to be gay just to piss those people off now, my indignation flowed freely through me as I confidently marched away from their influence.
Eventually, I sought out those tapes again, only to find they were gone. So was my family, in a way. Divorce, neglect, and middle-class Americana became our new reality. But in that moment, I rejected the system that sought to control me.
That moment of defiance became a touchstone for me—a reminder that choosing myself and my dignity is worth whatever consequences follow. I lost a temporary connection with the church and gained a permanent connection with myself.
Why neuroDEFIANCE Matters
We live in a world lit.er.ally. designed to destroy authenticity on sight. To isolate, suppress, and force you into compliance. If you can’t—or won’t—conform, society slaps you with a label: “disabled,” “broken,” “less than.” But let’s call it what it really is: neuropatriarchal conditioning trying to keep you in line. The system has a very narrow range of “ability” and also why do we have a society that frames people by ability anyway, do you mean by ability to be human? I just AM.
Now, let me be clear: this is not meant to minimize the real and serious challenges people face. This is about inspiring and empowering those who are on the edge—those who feel stuck, frustrated, or more disgruntled than anything. It’s for the people who know something isn’t right and are ready to reject the game entirely.
neuroDEFIANCE is about rejecting that conditioning. It’s about choosing maturity, joy, and sovereignty in a system designed to rob you of those things. It’s about refusing to be reduced to a label because you refuse to play their rigged game all while using our power to widen the current structures to accomodate authentic human diversity. We don’t actually need to burn society down, we can just replace what was already built with something not so shitty. A society that people would want to voluntarily assimilate into.
We also live in a world where change is possible—where we can co-create a society built on growth, shared responsibility, and authenticity. There are people who we deem “disabled” because society has no idea what to do with them or how to value them for their being. We focus on the lack of ability to provide labor for the capitalists rather than the love that can be shared between humanity just because.
The people who need more support don’t get it and I know they feel hurt and out by my approach so I want to address that here. Those of us who can stand up to the society should do so, on behalf of those who can’t. I’m not sure why people have been assuming the worst in me, but it speaks to their lack of safety within and to the urgency of the need to address these problems at a higher level.
& yet I’m not here to start a massive movement—this is just an idea, a concept for you to take and expand in your own world. To defiantly define yourself through the pursuit of happiness, not societal suffering. Shit sucks, so I choose myself. Whatever that means. That also means defiantly respecting your needs, and if that means leaving an event due to overstimulation then do it with pride that you chose to honor your body.
So, what’s next for you? Will you reject the conditioning, reclaim your authenticity, and choose joy? Or will you let the PC keep you stuck?
Choose wisely.
& defiantly.
That’s all I have for now. This is a new concept for myself to help myself reframe my life in a more positive way. There are specific exercises and things that I do to help myself but that’ll be for another post.
If it helps you too then great.
If not, then oh well.
If you’re mad now, yay for me, I LOVE it when that happens.
Disclaimer:
I’m not saying that all neurodivergent people have zero actual problems and it’s all society and that’s all we need to change. I am simply providing a new term and framework for people on the fringe of neurodivergence, those that identify deeply with the pain of the communication issues with people and the struggle against society but perhaps do not have the processing and sensory differences or they do and still want to intentionally DEFY this bitch ass of a society. It is for those willing to intentionally develop themselves in order to stand up to the anti-human society we’ve found ourselves in. I am also not saying literally that this is a neurotype…it is very clearly a joke and call to action for people to take self-responsibility, regardless of neurotype and to live in a more authentic alignment with our species. If nothing else, just looking to find like minded people who enjoy word play, stories, reframes, and authenticity.
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